Thursday, June 02, 2005

Arnie the Seething Mailman

One fine day in early June, Arnie the Mailman was trekking his usual three mile route between town hall and Mrs. Jenkins's, who was the crazy cat woman that year. Everything was lookin' good, and Arnie was feelin' fine. That is until...just as he was about to drop a small box wrapped in brown paper into a mailbox, it exploded. And out jumped Osama bin Laden, laughing wickedly and rocking back and forth.
"Now I will bring jihad upon you, Arnie the Mailman!" sneered Osama, waving his wand of Saudi evilness and casting a glowing beam of green fire at Arnie, who collapsed into a pile of his own charred clothing screaming in torment.

Several hours passed, as did many local children, but none of them stopped to help the badly-burned and trembling mailman. They stole his mail--even his hat--but not a one of them would lift a finger to get him to a burn ward. Slowly, Arnie the Mailman gathered the strength to get up, dressed in the roasted remains of his postal service uniform and a badly-robbed mailbag.
"Agh!! I am uncommonly and infectiously ill-tempered!!" howled Arnie, slavering and scowling at everything that moved (at that moment, a pigeon). He threw down his mail sack and stormed up the street seething, headed toward the post office with teeth bared.

Tune In Next Week!!!

2 Comments:

Blogger Mikey06 said...

You are also a crazy nerd.

11:25 AM  
Blogger Mithrandir said...

Suck it, woman.

5:28 PM  

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