Tuesday, June 21, 2005

Arnie the Seething Mailman, In...

The Taming of the Lemur

Arnie sat on a metal folding chair in his little cramped apartment, sorting through his waist high stack of Cosmo back issues for the articles. He tore out a handful of unsexy pages and spread them evenly over the floor, watching the lemur he just adopted come walking over to test them for absorbancy.
"Er...you like...Spam?" grumbled Arnie in query, watching his new pet lower his nose to about an inch from one of the pages and begin reading. The lemur continued to read until he grew bored and walked over to another page, tail held high to enjoy the air conditioning.
Arnie scratched his chin a minute and got up, shuffling toward the window to watch the foot traffic on the street below his apartment. A few losers caught his eye, and a respective can of condensed soup to the cranium. Laughing gruffly, Arnie slapped his knee as the elderly woman he just nailed in the chin with a Minastrone went careening into the street. What happened after that was a matter of the driver's insurance.
The lemur had since turned on the television and started watching Fuse, making an odd chittering sound when B.Y.O.B. started. Arnie never really watched TV...violence was his outlet. When he sat down to think he always got angry or bored and decided to assault something. Come to think of it, he didn't own an apartment--so he went to check the name on the key tag to the door and gaped.

BILL

Dropping to his knees, Arnie howled at the ceiling, fists pounding on his chest, while the lemur stared on in stunning relief to a softly fluttering American flag.

Tune in Next Week!!!

2 Comments:

Blogger Mikey06 said...

You need to have your head examined...

9:35 AM  
Blogger Mikey06 said...

Update!

4:38 PM  

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